For those of you who apparently couldn't get enough of that Sparky the wonder Kryptonian costume the first time, the Powers that Be at DC have squeezed a woman into it and sent her and Superman to fight a guy named Wardell-or 'War' for short-in 'Who is Strange Visitor Chapter Two: When?'. Just a warning, though: this fever dream of Randall and Ron Frenz, Sal Buscema, Steve Dutro and others is going to be actively painful to slog through, so let's… S P O I L T H E B L U E C H I C K I E …You remember, a few weeks back, when I proclaimed L.A.W. #1 to be one of those truly awful comics destined for a legendary status as dreadful beyond dreadful?
Well, buddies, this story arc is shaping up to push that shining example of tatt clear out of the pool to become the WORST tale told in comic book form this year. I mean, this misbegotten brainchild is actively painful to slog through, guaranteed to make you wince on every other page, if not every page. It's an epic monument to mediocrity that thankfully will be swept away when the changeover comes next month.
Anyway, we start Chapter Two where Chapter One left off, with Superman meeting Sparkette the Knock-off Kryptonian in Professor Hamilton's apartment. Superman is kind enough to recap last issue, thus preventing those of us who suffered through SUPERMAN #149 from sharing the pain of those of us who read that issue. He's about to interrogate Sparkette further when her 'cosmic empathy goes off, prompting her to save a prospective suicide jumper by, basically, making a pest of herself until the woman breaks down and lets the Maid of Teal help her. Turns out the jumper- elect was the mother of a baby in the position of one Wardell Washington, the Kirbyed-out looking mook from SUPERMAN #149 calling himself 'War.' So Supes and Strange head off to this 'War's' house, along with Maggie Sawyer and Dan Turpin (because 'you guys are the best'-Yes, I'm gonna quote dialogue; you must feel my pain)…as well as the Rick Jones looking mook from SUPERMAN #149. There's a big fight, and the jumper-elect's kid gets saved, and then Sparkette does….something really bad to War that can only be stopped when Superman 'breaks the connection!' (A statement, by the way, that is written in big, bold letters like it is the end of the world) Then Professor Hamilton warns Sparkette that if she continues to expend her powers in such, ummm, colorful ways, she may end up dispersing. So Sparkette the Knock Off Kryptonian decides she *has* to find out who she is- just as that Rick Jones mofo shows up and proclaims that Sparkette is Sharon, his fiancée (and Superman says…wait for it…'Great Scott! Can it be?'
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This is simply inept. The problem with many artists who decide they can write is they can't think in the non-visual sense, so that they produce very pretty pictures with excruciating dialogue and narration imposed upon it. This is why Image stopped being the number one comic company in the world, people. And unlike people like Frank Miller and Erik Larson, who proved they could write stories that were engaging as well as pretty, or Stuart Immonen, who found help to make his words on a level with his pictures, Ron Frenz is so lost here. The writing here, just like with the first part of this storyline, is either cliched ('The world takes a breath…holds it'
, stilted ('This Strange Visitor is passionate, caring and very capable. But she also seems disturbingly familiar. Who is she?'
, overtly melodramatic ('Good Lord! Radio for back-up! This is a metahuman situation after all!'
or some combination of the three ('This woman-this Strange Visitor and Superman take on my case and help me-ME!'
. Couple that with more of Ron Frenz's poor Kirby-swiping and you've got a thoroughly unpleasant comic- hideous to look at and excruciating to read.
You really have to wonder why the editors of the Superman titles let this four part-FOUR PART-travesty escape to the outside world. My only guess is that they made this promise to Frenz once they kicked him off SUPERMAN, and decided to drop it before us now in the hopes that, come next month, this whole painful experience will be forgotten.
I doubt that. This monstrosity will leave a mark for a long, long time to come.
And your thoughts?
